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Parenting Mental Health / Gratitudes  / Daily Gratitude with Suzanne

Daily Gratitude with Suzanne

Good morning, and it’s a stonker here in the Midlands!
A beautiful blue in the sky and fruit tea and crumpets here on earth. What a way to start a Saturday. And a lie in too. Utter bliss. It really is the small things.
How about you?
How are you starting your Saturday? Let me know in the comments – with photos if poss… I’ve snaffled the crumpets or I’d send you a pic! 😋
Another great way to start your day is with Gratitude – for what happened yesterday, for things around you now, for moments and plans and hope to come today and beyond.
By sharing we not only connect ourselves to a new and transformative space within, but we connect with each other.
Come and join our merry band of gratitudents, and see how your perspective can be shifted with some intention, a little connection and a smidge of “whatever! She’s definitely on something to believe this will change anything!’ But it does. Ask our Anne about the days she misses grats ( that autocorrected to goats!) Or Sara who came back to us after a brief sojourn. Or
Samantha, whose message on Thursday about this process changing her perspective made me really, really smile.
Try it out – it’s free, it’s fun, and it’s a friendly bunch of people who will woohoo your highs and commiserate your lows.
You can start small with Simple Pleasures – things that make you feel – or Magic Moments – memories that take you somewhere else, and remind you that good things can and do happen.
So, yesterday, you may know that Issy and I went to the spa. And what a day it was! Time to chill, chat, and explore. We spent a lot of time in a candle spa – it’s a domed cave, filled with warm water, (electric) candles and sloped beds that support you as you float in the dreamy half light. Time seemed to stand still there and we both may have fallen asleep…
After lunch, it was on to the Retreat, a room filled with loungers and an old antique day bed ( that creaked A LOT!) I crept under a quilt and allowed myself to forget the 3000 emails I’d received since I’d arrived and float away into a warm, pasta-fuelled slumber, before waking to be massaged and moisturised for 2 hours. Utter bliss!
The treatment included a head massage which was heavenly, but as I met with Issy, her face was a quizzical picture.
“Was it, err, good?” she tentatively enquired.
“It was AHHHMAZING” I replied.
“Oh, phew! It’s just you look, um, a bit, err…”
“Ha, yes, that’s it!”
I explained about the oils and how wonderful it had been but in the cold light of day, the context of the experience was lost. I looked like someone had poured vegetable oil over my head and my face was red from the facial. I did not look like someone who had been nurtured and cosseted in a warm and wonderful way.
There are many times in life when we get the wrong impression – where the context isn’t visible and we can jump to conclusions. We can only see what we think we know. I may not have looked beautiful at that moment, but I felt super chilled and very, very happy.
And I know many of us have had or are having issues with people’s perceptions of what is right and proper for our young people to do.
Judgements are easy to make when all you see is the exterior and frame it against a set of rules that weren’t designed for mental ill health or any condition that the majority see as different.
And in our race to fix and help, we can measure ourselves and our children by those same unhelpful yardsticks; the ones that don’t yield connection or understanding.
Seeing reality through your questions, not through your expectations can help you look beyond what might feel uncomfortable or wrong – with a friend or family member who holds an absolute opinion based on absolutely no experience – we’ve all got them! Or possibly with your child – depending on where they are at on the Curve. Questioning in crisis is not advised!
Instead of giving the untruths space, question:
How does that feel for you?
Why does it feel like that for you?
How would it be if you/they did this?
Could you explain how you got to that position?
Questioning other’s perceptions is one route away from frustration and anger, especially when we’re still questioning ourselves on what is right and what is acceptable, and how we feel about it all.
Today, know that if I can wander around with a litre of oil on my head, feeling great and looking like a complete idiot, however you feel about the things that keep your child calm, your family together or your self sane, are absolutely fine.
If you’ve got issues with friendships or living to a set of standards someone somewhere once said were the right ones, let us know in the comments.
We can help you reframe the reality and feel good about being you.
Have a lovely Saturday – and I’ll see you in the comments later.

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